Oh Schm-goodness, It's 3:05 am

What to say, what to say? I went out tonight... that was fun. (Also met a Pakistani cab driver.. never met anyone from Pakistan before. We had to get out of the cab before I could ask him interesting questions, unfortunately. But he seemed nice. Young. Had a ponytail and he was rockin' it. Like if you've ever seen the movie of Selena, the guy who played her husband. Chris, I think? That guy.)

Can I direct you to a post I made on AVEN tonight? No? Let me quote it for you here then.

Of all the people to be attracted to... The once-every-5-years person who's completely inappropriate

Okay, I guess this is a rant targeted to gray As (which is where I'm thinking of myself lately)....The problem I'm having is that I have now (as of about a month ago) been attracted sexually to a total of 3 people in my life. (I'm 29, by the way.) Which is good, and sort of exciting (?) but also kind of bad. Because now I'm suddenly of the mind where, suddenly between person #2 and person #3 I've upgraded myself to this new category, that I can no longer say that I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone. I am pretty sure I know what sexual attraction feels like, I am capable of feeling it, and I should wait for it--- and furthermore, now that I know this is possible I am thinking that any relationship I have will need to be motivated by (as it is for most people) that type of attraction. So, being that this is my new perspective, (1) that obviously limits the number of relationships open to me since it only happens that I feel a sexual attraction about every... 4-6 years, and (2), that complicates things in that I only tend to be attracted to people I have known in a nonsexual context over a long period of time--like, a year or more.... which means... unfortunately... anyone I meet in a setup or at a bar or even as a friend of a friend where we have a connection and suggest meeting up for a drink.... anytime there is a sexual connotation or expectation, the possibility of attraction is completely out of the question for me.

Guess who I end up being attracted to? Those people in my life who I have known for a long period of time in a nonsexual context. Those people who I may enjoy and have a genuine communion with, an appreciation and affection for and where we have a relationship that is based on mutual admiration, where the fact that there is NO possibility of sex getting in the way has allowed us to be real with each other. You, know, people like XXX, or (maybe someday I could see it happening) XXX. That is to say, people who it would cross some sort of line to date. Guh. What to do?

ALSO, complicating this is the fact that I tend to be attracted to people with a lust for life, who are very open and conversational and enthusiastic about the world around them, and those people on the whole tend to be very sexual in nature, which make us a complete mismatch.

SO let's leave that there for now, because there is nothing that can be done for it, and move on to another topic, namely, how much I love my salsa class and the people in it (except for the one guy who can't dance worth @#*% and still counts out loud TO ME as if I'm the one who needs coaching) and everyone else who takes at the dance school. After my class ended but before I had to leave for dinner I spent 20 minutes chatting in the lobby with 3 supercool people about like, our life goals, career, and general quirky stories. It. Was. Awesome.

Also tonight I had an Irish Car Bomb for the first time. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, right? I guess I am stronger. :)

Sigh. I am happy again today. Cheers. Salud (Health). L'Chaim (To life).